Let’s Get Happy
Using the word happy and divorce in the same sentence feels a bit “wrong.” You sense that people expect you to be sad and unhappy and if you’re not, they look at you sideways. Like, “What’s wrong with him? Isn’t he getting divorced?” You almost feel guilty when you feel happy. Well, I’m here to tell you not to feel guilty and to emphasize that you need to find happiness. Yep, even going through your divorce. You might not be happy that you are getting divorced but that doesn’t preclude you from finding happiness in other things. Here are some things to think about.
- Surround yourself with positive people – anyone that will be a good support system for you, anyone that will lift you up and not bring you down- no toxic people, only people who are truly your friends.
- Take breaks – exercise, pamper yourself, whatever makes you feel calm and relaxed.
- Love yourself – look at your gifts, stop focusing on what you don’t have.
- Be grateful – notice what’s right instead of what’s wrong.
- Keep a journal – there is tremendous power in the written word. It not only helps clarify your thoughts, but lets you see where you’ve been.
- Acceptance – that where you are right now is exactly where you are meant to be. The more you resist, the harder it becomes.
- Visualization – what you think and feel, you will attract. Meditate on what you want and not what has passed.
- Forgiveness – key to you moving on. Have no regrets and bitterness. Forgive yourself as well as others.
- Set boundaries – with the ex, parents, friends and children.
- Connect with your faith – it will give you amazing strength.
- Be true to yourself – take inventory on what you need, where you want to go and stay on that path.
- Don’t focus on what people think – Remember, no one is living your life but you. It is how YOU view your life that matters, not how others view it. Have the confidence to stand strong knowing that you are doing your best at this time.
- Give to others – when you give to others, you step outside of yourself and your problems.
- Spend time with your friends doing fun things. Resist trash talking and ruminating about your divorce. This is the time to step away from all the drama and let your brain and emotions disconnect.
- Be in the present moment. If you are taking a walk, stop thinking about your situation or worrying about some aspect of your divorce. Instead look at the colors of the flowers, feel the breeze on your face. If you are driving, be present and I bet that you will notice things you hadn’t before. When you are doing something with your kids, stop thinking about what you need to do later. If you do, you will truly enjoy a moment you won’t get back.