Accepting Where You Are

by Debbie Martinez

"One day after my divorce, I was walking the beach when m thoughts wandered to the question, “How did my life get so off track?” It was at that moment I realized my life wasn’t off track at all, I was exactly where I needed to be.

We are given opportunities in life to grow and discover our inner strength. Divorce is one of those opportunities. Unfortunately, most people do not take advantage of this time. It is a time of change that can be scary, but change is good. There are changes we are excited about and those we fear, but the fact remains that fear is only for a short time. In some cases, divorce is thrust upon us even if it is not our decision. However, it all depends on “How are we going to choose to deal with this change?” How you choose to approach this time and how you react to what is happening will determine the type of person you become.

During this transition, it is normal to feel impatient. We are anxious to feel “normal” again and have our “old life” back. When we try to rush the painful process, we are denying ourselves the time to learn a life lesson from the situation at hand. Surrendering ourselves and accepting reality will help make the next step easier and clearer.

In life we have choices and acceptance. We need to accept our choices and live with them as well as the choices of others. You are on your way and you will arrive at the designated time and more fulfilled than you ever imagined. The key is to accept where you are until you get to where you want to be. Let go and have peace that this too shall pass.

While in this phase of your life, do not allow fear of the new or the unknown prevent you from moving forward. This is no time to be looking backward. There is nothing there for you, all that you need lies ahead. What you expect, you will receive. Become the master of your mind and not the victim of your thoughts.

Here are tips on accepting and overcoming divorce:

- Develop an attitude of faith
- Be grateful for what you have
- Keep things in perspective. Just because this specific time in your life is hard, doesn’t mean you have a hard life
- Empower yourself with daily affirmations
- Don’t stand still, keep moving
- Be patient with yourself
- Work on letting go of past hurts so that you can embrace life more joyfully
- Take one day at a time. Don’t get overwhelmed by the big picture. Look at today only, get through today and deal with tomorrow, tomorrow
- Seek support from a divorce group, therapist or life coach

*Remember, this time will redefine you, how it redefines you is up to you.

Published in Sunset Drive Magazine, Fall 2010


Information published by Debbie Martinez- Giving clients the tools and guidance during transition times to pursue happier, more fulfilling lives. To learn more about how I can help you too, call me at (305) 984-5121.